For years, I chased “balance” like it was some mythical treasure. I imagined this perfect day where I’d conquer my to-do list at work, whip up a healthy dinner, call a friend, and maybe even squeeze in yoga. But here’s the thing about chasing balance: it’s exhausting.
I remember one Monday in particular when the fantasy came crashing down. Work emails piled up before 9 AM, my lunch plans got canceled, and by the time I got home, I was too tired to do anything but scroll through Netflix. That night, I stared at the ceiling, wondering: Was I just bad at this, or was the idea of balance flawed to begin with?
The Problem with the “Perfect Day”
We’ve all seen those Instagram-worthy schedules: color-coded planners filled with blocks of time for productivity, self-care, and family. And for a while, I bought into it. If I could just “plan better,” I’d achieve balance.
But what nobody tells you is that life doesn’t stick to the plan. Meetings run late, your kid gets sick, or you’re just too mentally drained to tackle your 5 PM yoga class. And then comes the guilt—like you failed some unspoken test of adulthood.
The truth I eventually stumbled upon? Balance isn’t about splitting time equally across all parts of life. It’s about flexibility and focus.
Rethinking Balance: A Shift in Perspective
That epiphany didn’t hit me in some profound, dramatic moment. It came quietly, over coffee with a friend. She mentioned how she thinks of her life as a “seesaw.” Sometimes work takes priority, and sometimes it’s family. The trick, she said, is being fully present in whichever area needs you most at that moment.
That resonated with me. Instead of striving for a perfectly even split, I started leaning into the ebb and flow of life. Some weeks, I gave myself permission to work longer hours. Other weeks, I prioritized rest or catching up with friends.
And you know what? Life didn’t fall apart.
Letting Go of the Guilt
One of the hardest parts of abandoning the pursuit of balance was dealing with guilt. If I worked late, I felt like I was neglecting my personal life. If I took a day off, I worried about falling behind at work.
But guilt isn’t productive—it’s a distraction. Once I reframed my idea of balance, I realized that guilt only arises when you hold yourself to impossible standards. Instead, I started asking myself one question: What matters most right now?
That simple question became my compass. Some days, the answer was meeting a deadline. Other days, it was spending time with family or just taking a nap. And that was okay.
The “Focus Buckets” Approach
Here’s a strategy I stumbled into that helped me make peace with imbalance: I started thinking about my life in buckets. Work, relationships, health, and personal growth were my main ones. Each week, I’d mentally check in with each bucket and ask:
- Which bucket needs more attention this week?
- Which bucket can I let simmer for now?
The key wasn’t pouring equal energy into all buckets. It was about giving myself permission to focus deeply on one or two, knowing I could revisit the others later.
The Takeaway: Embrace the Season You’re In
Now, when I look back at that Monday when I felt like I’d failed at “balance,” I feel a strange sense of gratitude. It forced me to rethink what I was chasing. Instead of striving for a picture-perfect day, I’ve learned to embrace seasons.
Some seasons are for hustle, and others are for rest. Some days, you’ll be a rockstar at work; other days, you’ll shine as a friend or partner. The magic lies in allowing yourself to be fully present wherever you are, without guilt for where you’re not.
So, if you’ve been chasing balance and coming up short, maybe it’s time to let go of the myth. Life isn’t about walking a tightrope—it’s about learning to lean.
